HUSBAND QUOTES PART 3

HUSBAND QUOTES PART 3

(In honor of my wife's birthday today)

I married my wife for her looks.....just not the ones she’s been giving me lately.

There are two sides to every divorce: yours and shitheads

I got a sweater for Christmas. What I really wanted was a screamer or a moaner.

Food has replaced sex in my life – now I can’t even get into my own pants.

The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol level.

A food has been discovered that kills all sexual desire in women. Its called wedding cake.

The shortest sentence is “I am.” The longest is “I do.”

My wife and I have a nice dinner out twice a week. Good food, good wine and good companionship. She goes Tuesdays and I go Thursdays.

I take my wife everywhere. It doesn’t work. She keeps finding her way back.

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. She said, “Somewhere I haven’t been for a long time.” I suggested the kitchen.