PUMPERNICKEL

I was standing in the ethnic bread section of our local Krogers grocery store one day last month contemplating something new and exotic. I reached for a dark rye on the top shelf when a little white-haired lady moved toward me and said with an obviously Jewish accent , "Oh, is that pumpernickel?" Now that is a come-on line if I ever heard one. Of course, an Irishman knows a thing or two about come-on lines.

I WAS dressed nicely that day. I guess my shining bald head skirted by short silver hair might have made me look rather dignified and well-to-do, in her vernacular. In any case, after being taken aback momentarily, I gathered myself and replied with my best Jewish accent, "No, its not. You know, you just can't find a good pumpernickel any more!" I think I made her day.