P-DOC

Paul Daugherty of the Enquirer and WLW radio co-authored Chad Javon Ocho Cinco's bio when his name was still Johnson. He writes a blog that can be found at news.cincinnati.com/ Here is his 9/5 entry .

Think of the marketing possibilities.

A few weeks into the year, Chad changes his name to Chad Javon GoDaddy.com. The Internet world rocks.

Seizing the moment, Chad changes his name to Chad Javon YourNameHere and declares his back a billboard, available to the highest bidder. Chad besieged by would-be advertisers: Whiplash lawyers, escort services, gambling services, money lenders, chiropractors, con men, sellers of swamp. Demand contributes to worldwide shortage of the jersey numbers “1”, “8” and “0”.
A formerly shuttered textile mill in Fall River, Mass., reopens, employing 200 people, to keep pace with demand.

Radio itch Bill Cunningham gets the rights: Chad Javon I’mAGreatAmerican. Textile workers in a panic.

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, fearful of the impact a work stoppage would have on the global economy, decides to approve any change Chad wants. Also, because Chad sold a million jerseys in the first 10 days and the loop does like its money.

Meantime, Chad decides "Chad'' is an unsuitable name for someone also named Ocho Cinqo. Face it: "Chad'' sounds like the kid who parks your car at Camargo. Chad is on the honor roll, plays soccer, marries his high school sweetheart (a pom squad-der named Beth) and goes to work selling term life insurance.

Ocho Cinqo changes his first name to Don Juan. Until he changes it to Don Pablo.

I was going to change my name to John Steinbeck today. But I got up too late to get to the courthouse.