FOOTBALL ETIQUETTE

I'm going to watch the Bengals play the Eagles tomorrow. I don't go to games very often any more for several reasons. One, the tickets are too damn expensive...as well as the beer. Two, I always drink too much beer which makes my head hurt for the next 24 hours...I can't help myself. Three, there are usually a bunch of assholes at the games who I just can't tolerate in my old age.

These are a few of the things that tick me off at games. The jerks who can't figure out that they should go take a leak at a normal break in the action. No one should get up and move down the row when its third and one at the 39 yard line. The jerks who think they know every play that is coming up and want to tell everyone around them. The jerks who think they are smarter than NFL offensive and defensive coordinators and blame every bad play on the coaches. The jerks who have to stand up on almost every play. The jerks who wear big hats or use umbrellas.

Despite all this, I expect to have a great time tomorrow.