COMMENCEMENT

It's that time of year again.  Young people are finishing school and commencing to do other things.  If you've got some spare time, go to YouTube and plug in commencement speeches.  There are some doozies - many are very entertaining.

(Doozy is a great word because it can mean remarkably good or remarkably bad.  You can't go wrong using it as long as whatever you're describing is remarkable.  Now, floozy, not so much.  Boozy can only mean one thing (hic).  I'm getting a little woozy.  If you knew my Suzy, you would too.)

Anyway, why do we call the end of school a commencement?  You say you want the graduates to know they are beginning a new phase of their lives.  What?!  You mean we educated these kids for 12 or 16 years or more and we have to fool them - or remind them that things are changing and they now have to go to more school or go out and make something of themselves or, God forbid, get a job?

To complete the farce on the educated 'future-of-our-country', we have them wear a stupid 'one-size-fits-all muumuu with a plate on their heads.  Everyone looks exactly alike!  Did the school want them to come out like cookies from a bakery?   Get real!  (To bring the grads a small dose of reality, the school charges excessively for the gown and chapeau.)

Then they make the grads walk in line like zombies and sit for hours pretending to listen to the same tripe they've heard before.  All this for the chance to cross a stage, grab a sheepskin, kiss their favorite teacher/prof and perform some antic all can talk about at the 5th reunion.

I say we start calling the end  -  the end.  Target reached.  Done!  Throw a come-as-you-are all-night party on the football field with the money saved.  

*o*