DOWN KNEE

 I'm kinda new to this clothes washing business.  I was well trained, though, and continue to do it as taught.  One thing about the procedure bothers me.  Procter and Gamble's clothes softener Downy seems like a dubious necessity.   That being said, I feel like I've come to grips with it.  

With the wash, I put in a capful of the blue liquid into the crater built atop the major washing paddle gismo - you know, the back and forth whatchamacallit that creates all the suds and beats the hell out of the cloths.  I have no idea if it does any good but I keep pouring it in there.

Now comes the drying.  Just in case the cloths aren't soft enough from the thrashing in the washer, I've been taught to throw in one or two little pieces of cloth, gossamer squares, evidently soaked in more Downy.  You just toss these in and magically - softness.  

P&G is making out like a bandit.  Not to mention, the top selling detergent, Tide, at the beginning of the ritual and we get a double dose of the top selling softener.  

Here's where I'm striking back.  I've touched and smelled those little squares after the drying process and they seem the same to me as when they went in.  My guess is that you can't wring the blue juice out of those little papers that easily.  So, I've started collecting them.  I throw them all back into the dryer for the next time I run that cycle.  Eight, ten, twelve - - - it can't hurt anything - - - and I'm sure, my clothes will soon be so soft they wouldn't wrinkle if you wanted them to.  I doubt starch would work on them. 

I'm expecting people will soon start to rub their hands all over my clothes in amazement every time they see me.  I've discarded all cologne and after shave.  My new aroma is going to Pure Downy.    That works!