YOU CAN'T TEACH OLD DOGS NEW TRICKS

 Here's my story.  I'll keep it PG and not offend any gender.  You may be aware of this and wonder what took me so long to figure it out.  Maybe I'm just old. 

Over a month ago, I wanted to have my car serviced at Joe Morgan's Honda at the Route 63 exit on I-75.  They were quite busy when I arrived without an appointment but could take care of me in an hour or two.  

No problem!  I drove over to the Outlet Mall to waste some time.   I went in several stores selling men's sporting goods and shoes.  Nothing tempted me.  After a lot of walking, I went into the Calvin Klein factory outlet.  Not much there either but, as I was leaving, a sales table caught my eye.  They were selling underwear at what seemed to be a good price - I knew I could use some.

I had already been wearing some Calvin Klein underwear I had purchased at Costco.  I liked them a lot.  They were made out of a silky, stretch microfiber material and had a good waistband.  Of course, they were boxer briefs which I had been wearing for a long time.  They got me.  I bought a four-pack; black and bright red only.  I figured the color was the reason they were on sale.  

I'm not a good shopper.  I'm not a frequent buyer of anything except food and gasoline.  When I got home, I took the four tightly wrapped  undergarments out of their package and plopped them in my dresser drawer.  They sat there until a few days ago.  I put on the black pair - they felt great and looked sharp, if you asked me.  

I had just finished dinner with some friends at Eddie Merlot's and thought I should relieve myself before driving some ladies home.  I had a terrible time in the restroom.  I couldn't understand the problem.  I managed to overcome it and went about the drive home.  

In the privacy of my bedroom I discovered that the pair of undershorts I put on didn't have a slit; no opening, if you will.  They had to be taken down to urinate!  What!  

Did I buy a women's item?  Did they forget to make an opening in this one pair? No and No!  That's the way they come.  I never heard of such a thing.  I hopped on this trusty computer to check it out and, yes, they make them for men without an opening.    Incredible!!  

Is this a product of our 'woke' society?  I write this as a warning for any unsuspecting buyer.  

Buyer Beware!