STOICISM

I've been called a stoic - in so many words - from time to time.  Stoicism is a philosphy that got started in ancient Greece by a guy named Zeno.  He and his followers believed that a wise man should be free of passion, unmoved by joy or grief.  These guys accepted whatever happened without complaint or emotion.   That all appealed to me at one time in my life.

I still have a lot of that in me.  Some people can't take it.  I have driven some people nuts trying to figure me out.  I'm a little sorry that I have that ability to completely divorce myself from some subjects and show zero emotion.  It may not have served me well over the years.

This popped into my mind the other day while I was attending the funeral of a friend.  My wife thought I only cried when I watched sad ESPN 30 for 30 shows.  Truth is that I cry when I see others crying.    Sure, big boys don't cry.  That's what everyone says. Stubbing your toe on the leg of a chair doesn't count. Being a stoic, takes it too far.  Stoics are not really great friends.

Here are some guidelines I am implementing to be more a friend than a stoic.  When a person confides in you with a problem they are having, don't blow it off.  Don't say you've had the same problem.  Don't offer solutions.  It is important to them.  Ask them for more informaton.  Agree that it is a difficult situation.  Don't be afraid to say that you don't know what you would do.  Don't think that you have all the answers.  

Here's another:  when someone goes out of their way or does something nice for you, don't say "I appreciate it;" say "I appreciate You."  Be more personal.  Be aware:  I'm going to say this in the future.