PUDDING

 I aspire to be a good cook.  I'm not bad on breakfasts but haven't had much practice at anything else.  My wife is an excellent cook and doesn't want to give up that job.  

One of my big obstacles to becoming a good cook would be the language.  I'm just not tuned in to the lingo.  I suppose that would come with time.  Here is an example.

Do you know what 'pudding' is?   I thought I did.  I like to eat the Jello Pudding Cups for a light snack.  My whole life, pudding is something like what you find in those cups.  "Surprise! Surprise!" said Gomer Pyle.  I looked up the definition of "pudding".  Here's what Merriam-Webster has to say.  

First definition:  BLOOD SAUSAGE!  Yikes!  My imagination is running wild.  I look up 'blood sausage' and what do I find?  BLOOD PUDDING!  What!?  Can this be?  "A dark sausage containing a large portion of blood."  This is pudding?  Don't tell the Jello people.

Stunned, I go back to the dictionary with pudding.  Second definition, option (a,1):  "A boiled or baked soft food usually with a cereal base."  I have no idea what they are getting at here.  This must be what our British friends are talking about when they offer BREAD PUDDING.  Can this be a pudding.  Evidently, the Brits think you can't do without bread pudding.

Second definition option (b):  "A dish containing suet or having a suet crust and usually boiled in a bag." Suet!?  Suet is a fat I feed wild birds!  My Lord!  This must all be blamed on the British people or others in the 'old country'.   

You see?  How could I ever become a cook?   Oh darn!  I really want one of those puffy hats.